A letter to self (10 years ago)

Hi to adolescent shraddha,

At first I was desperate to write this one long back, but got a chance today.
I am just a newer version of you. I wonder will my future self be able to write something for me or not. But I wanted to do this.

I know how life has been hitting hard on you, things are just not going well, you’re drenched and drowned, still you smile. But I want to confess you are just going great. Sometimes I feel if I would have got a chance of being back again you then I could have rectified or started a lot new stuff, but no I was wrong you are doing pretty well just the way you’re expected to live.
I just want to say thanks to you, that your never giving up attitude made me a real person.

I know people have been being harsh on you, they have cursed you and slayed on you sarcastically. People say you ain’t beautiful they say you are of no use they even say you are a person to not to be loved with. I just want to say just the way you handled them sometimes by ignoring sometimes by retaliating sometimes by weeping sometimes disintegrating into pieces yet you chose to live. You somehow chose to live by collecting happiness into bits and pieces. I know it was really really tough now when I talk about it I call ironically call it adventurous but I know how it was. It is now easy for me to say I would have started this that if got a chance to go back but that time survival was the only necessity.

One thing I regret if I would have met you earlier I would have told you just be easy on yourself. Life is more than these four walls, life is just beautiful, you are going to gain a lot more you will see through eyes of others and by your own. I would have said no matter what happens your self will always be with you.

Anyways, I want to reveal some of the new stuff or make you meet with what happened in all these 10 years, you are grown-up to 25, your room is still the same the interior and colour of walls are pretty different, parents are still the same but dad has been retired now they are together searching matches for you, bhaiya and bhabhi are still the same but they have gained a lot more they have become an YouTuber, Gauri Vaibhav shreesh devansh are grown up they have started living their journey,
your besties are still the same (be proud of it) Anukriti is married now and Nikki is about to. You were fearing of getting married soon and you are till yet unmarried. You have successfully been over a long term relationship. You have turned out to be a writer and a speaker. And you are still the same just many more new friends are added to your list. You have started exploring more and I have started missing you.

I just want to thank you for being and handling the unknown mood swings inside the bathroom outside in the balcony and corners of the bed. I often get devastated and feel like running away. Then I think of your struggle and get inspired by you.
Thank you for holding me all these years. Thank you for just surviving through.
Thank you for living a beautiful journey.
Thank you for framing such a personality of self.
Thank you for making me feel heroic and giving me story of a roller coaster ride.
Thank you for being part and the only part of shraddha.
And just thank you.

Loads of love.
– your 25 year old version.

Advertisements